No Matter What

 "Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start"

-- The Scientist, Coldplay --

---

I can remember the first time we met... It's so vivid, in my mind. I may be forgetful, sometimes, but that... That day... Well, some things are hard to forget.

I hated him, then. Tana found it funny, at first... This little kid, always following me around, kicking dirt in my shoes, taunting and teasing me despite everything I tried to do to make him go away...

He beat up all the kids in his class, especially Bryant... I felt so sorry for that poor kid. I tried so hard, to tell him to stop... I even gave Jebidiah my username so he'd leave the poor boy alone.

But of course, it didn't work -- he continued to torture Bryant for years. And now, not only was he a first-class bully, but he was stalking me online, too. I was pretty sure that he couldn't get any creepier.

But I was wrong. He followed me everywhere... Even when I was trying to hang out with people my own age for a change. It was like trying to shake an angry chihuahua from your ankle. Completely. Utterly. Useless. The best you can do is leave it alone and hope it goes away on it's own...

But it was just wishful thinking. Having a tag along made it difficult to make -- and keep -- any friends (not that I didn't have that problem on my own)... And by now, Tana was no longer amused by his shinanigans. Once he was in our class, it made things even worse -- I couldn't avoid him at school, after school, and finally, one day, he stayed on the bus with me all the way home, and followed me into my house! I had no idea what to do.

But at that point, it finally became clear why he had been badgering me all this time, what he had misguidedly been trying to express...

... And part of me, so lonely, such a nervous wreck about everything in my life, was flattered that someone actually liked me... of all people. Incredibly shy, neurotic, childish... No one ever liked me. But Tana called the cops to get rid of him, and he was gone before I could even figure out how I felt about this. About him.

My sister thought she was protecting me, but against all her wishes, I decided I'd go out with him, just once, if only out of curiosity. Tana knew how shy I was, how neurotic I was with everything in my life, but she never realized how badly I wanted someone who understood what it was like to be afraid of everything in my life...

... Or how bad I wanted this.

Not only had he learned everything I loved, from all those years of treading in my shadow, but he endured the things that bored him the most just so that he could see me smile. He knew exactly what made me happy, all the right words to make me laugh...

... and how to be there for me when I wasn't sure I could handle it all anymore. With no one else to turn to, I ran to him the day my parents died...

... and he never turned me away. As terrible as he was to everyone else, never once did he treat me poorly... Never once did he show me anything but adoration, affection.

When things with my foster parents became too much, he asked me to come live with him once we both finally grew up.

And once we did, there was no doubt in my mind what I'd do. After all that time, I'd finally realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Part of me wasn't sure why, when I knew how cruel and untamed he could be, but deep down, I knew he was the only person that could ever understand me, take care of me, comfort me, the way that I really needed. As much as it upset my sister, there was nothing she could do -- I knew I loved him.

That I'd always love him...

... No matter what.