Love Through Betrayal
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
"Every choice he made that I withstood, every secret of his I kept in the dark, every sin I forgave, was because I thought he loved me... Because I thought it was what forever was all about."
Meredith fixed the rearview mirror of her car, still shaking in anger and pain. She had no idea where to go, but she knew she had to get out... away. Thank the plumbbob that Travis was spending the night at a friend's house -- she couldn't bear the thought of his questions. Bradley would be fine with Jeb until the morning... Let him play the parent for a while. Always her, changing diapers. Always her, reading them books and helping them with homework. Where was he all that time... Off screwing his coworkers while looting the town?
She wiped a tear from her cheek, and pulled out of the driveway. No idea where to go, but if she started to drive, maybe she'd find out where she was going on the way.
After plugging the gas pedal as far down as it would go, Meredith found herself all the way across town... Farah's house. She remembered ending up here once before, when she discovered Jebidiah's dark secret -- see how his mother handled it now when she found out he was cheating scum, too.
But when she rang the doorbell, no one answered. She rung it again... And again. By that point, it was obvious no one was home, but Meredith could do nothing but bang on the door, hoping for a miracle.
... Nothing. Eventually, furious and tired, she wiped her cheeks once more and laid down on the bench outside her door, falling asleep.
When Farah drove up, she immediately noticed something was awry. Why was Meredith's car in her driveway? Why was the security lighting around her house lit up?
Climbing the steps to her front door, she found Meredith there, asleep. She didn't bother having to wake her daughter-in-law, though -- the moment she ascended the last step, Meredith was awakened from her stupor, and looked up into Farah's half-egyptian eyes. "I need somewhere to stay, tonight."
Farah unlocked the door and ushered Meredith inside, scowling as she looked the young woman over. "What's happened?"
"He's been cheating on me, Farah. He's a bloody rotten liar... All this time, I thought he loved me, but apparently he's been off, fooling around with other men's wives... Even in my own home..." Meredith fought back the sniffles as Farah reached out her hand to try and comfort the redhead.
"Oh, sweetheart," she delicately said. "Are you sure there hasn't been a mista--"
"Of course there hasn't been a mistake!" Meredith yelled, balling her hands into fists. "His own boss told me, having seen it himself! What reason would he have to lie to me?"
"Meredith, calm down!" Farah's eyes had grown wide. "I can think of several reasons that his boss would have to lie to you, but that's not why I ask... I know my son can be a malicious man, but if there is anything in this world that has caused even a shred of hope that there's been a change in his life, it's you. Why he would do this... It's beyond me." She sighed deeply, rubbing her own face in confusion.
After a moment, Farah pointed down the steps. "Your old room is made up as a guest bedroom, you're more than welcome to stay the night. Sleep on it... We'll talk again in the morning."
There was something oddly reminiscent about pulling back the covers of the place she and Jebidiah used to sleep -- as if it had only been yesterday when they spent their first night together... Only yesterday when he got down on one knee... "Oh why, Jebidiah... Why?"
Meredith wasn't the only one having a hard time sleeping that night. "You've screwed up big time, this time," Jebidiah said aloud to himself as he looked around his empty living room, rubbing the back of his sore neck to try and alleviate some of the tension he'd self-served. Of course, his betrayal wasn't the only thing keeping his mind occupied. His boss's flinchless knife in his back... Cody's disgusted reaction... Mimi's lack thereof... Not to mention that it would not be much longer before he would have to trust his safety to the very people that now were likely lighting flaming dungheaps on his front lawn.
There's no rest for the wicked... And certainly not a wicked father.
But there was something comforting about the way that Bradley reached for his hand as he came to soothe his cries. "You're still too young to hate me," he sighed, touching his son's cheek. "Give it time. I'll find a way to screw up our relationship in the end."
You have to try not to, though, Jebidiah... You have to at least try.
When morning came, Meredith sought out Farah's computer and started duking it out on some computer games. Nothing to ease the tension like pummeling a quarterback in pixellated pixel-vision.
Farah wasn't going to let her daughter-in-law get off so easy, though. After she'd had herself a cup of coffee, she followed Meredith into her study and they began to talk.
"I just don't know, Farah," Meredith sighed. "My head's still spinning. How could he do this to me? To our kids? I just don't understand... None of it makes any sense. How can I possibly trust him anymore, as a husband? First he lies to me about his job, and now he's lying to me about our marriage -- why should I even bother staying with him anymore?"
"Listen, Meredith--" Farah pointed her finger towards the younger woman. "You aren't going to be able to figure any of this out if you keep childishly running away from these issues. You have to confront them head on, or you'll never know why... All you're doing is making this worse by avoiding them. Stop acting like you just stepped out of high-school and go talk to your husband.'
"I know he loves you, even if this was a poor way to show it. There must be a good reason for it... And while I'm not saying it's your fault, who knows his reasons? You aren't going to figure that out until you get dressed, and go resolve this like a grown woman. You're always talking about how you want to be a stronger person... Now's your time to prove you can be."
Meredith wanted to blow up at Farah for that advice -- how could she say that! -- but deep down, she knew that at least part of what she said was right. The longer she let this brew, the worse it would get... But still, there was one more place she needed to go before finally facing up to her husband.
"...And that's when I went to Farah's for the night. I just couldn't stand to see him anymore." By now, Meredith had fought back most of the tears, and was mostly just confused and frustrated. "I know I need to go see him, but I have no idea what to say. I wish... I wish I just didn't even know. I don't--"
"Don't say that, Meredith, that's absolutely ridiculous." Tana was infuriated -- much more than she was ever let on to sister. "You'd rather he was cheating on you but you just didn't know about it? I can't believe that -- that's so incredibly naive!" Tana threw up her arms in disgust. "I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him, he was absolutely no good -- but you never, ever listen to me, do you, Meredith?!"
But Meredith refused to respond. Her anger intensifying, she turned away... Tana did the same, stomping off to go have a dip in her pool. Meh -- all she said was an 'I told you so'... And it was a well deserved one! "Jebidiah better hope he doesn't run into me anytime soon, though," Tana grumbled to herself as she walked away.
Meredith approached the window, wearily looking across the street at her house -- but apparently, Jeb had seen her car pull up, and was running across the street. "No... No, not now..." Her breathing began to quicken, and...
Before she could stop it, the tears began to flow again. And she thought she was doing so well... But all it took was the sight of her husband to bring his treachery all back to the forefront of her mind. She was still sobbing when he walked into Tana's house, his eyes still full of the same shock from the night before.
Meredith couldn't move, even if she wanted to. Her legs were still so weak, and no matter where she went, she knew her husband would catch her. "Meredith," he said in the most mournful tone he was capable of. "Meredith, please, let me explain."
She shook her head, but he didn't listen. "Meredith, I know you probably won't believe me, but... That woman... I only did what I did because I thought I had to. I know it doesn't make any sense, and there are some things I just can't explain right now, but I need you to know that everything I did, I did to protect our family. I know... I know it's hard to believe... But I never felt so horrible in my life, when I had to do that... Not even you finding out was worse than that.'
"I've never loved anyone but you, Meredith." For a brief moment, she reached her hand out to touch his arm... But she instantly pulled it away. He was right to think she'd be confused -- if she was before, now she was even moreso.
"Please, I know you don't want to trust me right now," he continued, putting his hands together and pleading. "But it will all makes sense in time. I want to tell you, so badly, but I can't, right now... I will soon. Once this is all over... In a couple of days... Everything will make sense. All I ask is that you wait."
"Oh Jebidiah..." She thought silently to herself as she pulled him into a hug. "I hate you, for not letting me love you less."
The rest of the day was tense, but they managed. Travis kept dinner from being silent -- he had so much to talk about from his latest baseball game and team sleepover.
After they'd eaten, Travis and Jebidiah settled into the living room to play video games. Still, Jeb could not catch his wife's eye... Nothing had ever felt worse.
Not even the anxiety that finally overtook him that night. "It's tomorrow night," he mumbled to himself while going over the details of the plan once again on his laptop. "Then it will all be over. I can take our share of the money, and go far, far away from here... I can tell Meredith everything, without worrying what the Company might do to her... I can keep my family safe, and do things how I want them done." He finished up his work, shut the lid of his laptop, and went up to bed.
"Guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
