Reality

Every one of us, from the moment we are born, seeks to become something: a great mother, a wonderful friend, a famous rock star, a firefighter... But not all people who wish for something are destined to fulfill it. We may try to change reality to suit our whims and wishes, to change who we are in order to satisfy our dreams... But there is a limit to how far we can go, how much we can change, so we can obtain what we desire.

Sometimes, we are better for the job than we think we are -- we never had to change, to get there...

But sometimes, there is nothing we can do...
Some obstacles are just too great...
To change our dream to a reality.

---

There was silence at the Kane breakfast table that morning. It was supposed to be a happy day, when Amelia was going from toddler to child, but even the crepes Meredith had labored over that morning were unable to soothe the family's churning gullets.



Jebidiah's mind sweltered under the hatred for a woman he realized he may no longer be able to blame for her shortcomings...

Travis's was wrought with thoughts of some troubling rumors he'd been hearing about his girlfriend...

Meredith was mourning the loss of the only friend she'd ever had in this one-horse town...

But Bradley's plate hadn't even been touched; he was suffering the worst agony of them all...
The memory of the night before.



"You look great, Emerald," he had managed to say when he first saw her.

Through much agonizing contemplation, Bradley had finally decided to ask her out on a 'date'. Well, at least, it could be considered that... He was careful to point out that while they were going to get dressed up to go out to the Bistro, it was just "as friends". Brad still wasn't exactly sure what to do, and he didn't want to give any false impressions until he was absolutely sure.

Dinner seemed to go well, although awkward; neither of them seemed to be able to say much. He knew why he couldn't -- but he couldn't quite figure out why she was. Did she just agree to come because she didn't want to hurt his feelings? Did she not want to be seen in public with him?



After they'd finished eating, they silently walked the short distance across the road to the beach, and sat down on one of the benches in the gazebo.

"So?" Emerald asked, a sheepish smile on her face.

"So? So... What?" was Bradley's response. He really was clueless to the situation.

"Oh, nothing," she said with disappointment. "I just thought... nevermind."

For a long while they just sat there, but Bradley could never muster the courage to do anything more than that. It just didn't seem right, he knew when Emerald wanted something, she always did it herself... Right?



The seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, and after so long in unendurable silence and random chit-chat, it was broken with the piercing sound of sirens. Mr. and Mrs. Greenwood were concerned about the whereabouts of their daughter, and had called the police to find out where she'd been.

"We were just sitting and talking, officer," Bradley tried to explain.

"Yeah, yeah, doesn't matter, I don't care," the officer responded with a shrug. "Parents are so miserably cautious about their children these days. If I have to be sent out after another kid 'breaking curfew' again..." The cop shook his head. "I'll drop you off at your house, so she can call her parents first and hopefully get them cooled off before going home."



Apparently Emerald's parents weren't the only ones with cause for concern, though.

"Mrs. Greenwood has called me six times wondering where you two were, Bradley. You know I don't care if you're out late, but didn't you once think to consider talking to Emerald's parents about this?! You make sure Emerald calls her parents, and then you are going straight to bed!"

Meredith was no drill sergeant, and had a very hard time giving punishment of any sort -- so Bradley knew right away, just to be yelling, his mother had to be very upset.

"Great," he thought to himself. "Just what I needed."



Emerald made a quick phone call to her parents -- which ended a bit too abruptly for Brad's comfort -- and afterwards immediately started to cry.

Brad was worried, and hated seeing Emerald like this... He put his hand against her arm, and gently asked, "Are you alright? What's wrong? Are your parents really upset?"




When Emerald looked up, the look in her eyes made Bradley's heart feel choked. "No, I could care less about what my parents think, Brad."

"Then what is it?"

"... You weren't going to ask me out tonight, were you?"

The question caught Bradley completely off-guard. He was so surprised, it took him several moments even to be able to move again... And by that point, he couldn't come up with anything better to say than the truth. He couldn't lie to her.

"No... I wasn't."




"Why?" Emerald's face was painful to look at; Bradley could barely stand to look into those hazel eyes, to feel their weeping disappointment. "After everything I've done to show you how much I like you... why?"

"I don't know," Brad said, looking away, ashamed. "I just... thought that if that's what you wanted, then you would... you know..."

"I can't do everything, Brad. I laid out what I wanted as plainly as I thought possible. I thought, if I did that, then it would be easier for you... but I guess I was wrong. You just aren't willing to take that final step. You're too... cautious, for your own good. Nothing in your life is ever going to get better unless you take a little risk now and then."



Brad could feel his expression souring at her assessment of his personality. It was true, but it still hurt to hear.

Since in his silence Emerald could tell he still wasn't going to attempt to change where this was headed, she hung her head and closed her eyes in remorse. "Brad, this isn't going to work. Not until you're willing to try. I really, really like you, but I can't be with someone that is going to leave everything up to me. You can't always be the perfect gentleman... not if you want to be with me."



At that point, the pressure inside Brad pushed just enough for a response. "Em, I just wanted to respect you... I care so much about you, I didn't want to hurt you or risk our friendship. Everything had been going so well, I thought if we just kept it the way it was... You'd just progress it as you wanted it to."




"Brad..." She took his hands into hers, and she almost seemed to smile. "I really care for you, too. You mean a lot to me... But I don't think you're ready for this. Not for a relationship with me, at least. You are and always will be my best friend... And when you're ready for this to be more, you know where to find me."

"... But, how will I know when I'm ready?"

"You'll know, when nothing can stop you from being with me."



Long after she'd gone, Bradley stood on the street, watching where he'd seen her disappear. Part of him wished she'd change her mind, that she'd turn around and come right back and take him in her arms.... but he knew she wouldn't.

If only he'd known that all he had to do was chase her down... That all he had to do was tell her to wait, so he could kiss her right then and there. To tell her he didn't care what she said, that he wanted her anyways.

But he didn't know, because it was the lesson he had to be taught.



... Pain, though... That was one lesson he needed no teaching to excel at.

---

By lunchtime, the family was able to forget the past few days in order to fully celebrate Amelia's special day. Her second birthday... Meredith's favorite. Kids parties were always the best! ... Too bad she didn't know any kids anymore, though. By now, all of Travis and Bradley's friends were teenagers -- but Amelia would be happy with family, right?



Travis got to be the special brother taking Amelia to the cake, that day -- two candles, for her second birthday... Two candles, to become a child.

Even angsty June was excited to see her cousin age up; Farah could have probably stood a bit of cheering up, though.



You may laugh, Jebidiah, but that little girl of yours is going to be the bane of your existance. Just you wait.



Bradley realized he had nothing to fear -- Amelia would always love her Big Brudder, no matter what...



... but she wouldn't always have the best footing in life. Whoops! At least her first "trip" to the pool was memorable. Haha. Pun. Haha. (And she's not even clumsy!)



Many of Travis' and Bradley's friends had been invited to the party, but of all the teenagers running around in their swimsuits, Bradley couldn't pick out Emerald. Where was she?

Since Emerald wasn't usually the type to miss anything, he stopped her sister while on the way to get a slice of cake. "Hey Jade," he asked. "Did Emerald say if she was going to come?"



"She's actually not feeling too well today," Jade responded nicely enough. "She said that something she ate last night was bothering her."

"Oh, so... she's not grounded?"

Jade laughed. "Oh, no, she's definitely grounded... But you should know by now, nothing like that ever stopped Em from doing what she wants."

Bradley sighed... Great. That left very few positive conclusions... He'd just have to ask her about it later, he supposed.



But everyone was already beginning to draw their own conclusions about what was going on between the two "love birds".

---

Later that day, as Meredith walked to the consignment store to check if Amelia's present was available yet, she passed by the gym... And, uncanny, that she should see the same person she saw the first time she'd ever visited the gym.

The little girl inside her that still believed in 'fate' saw this as that: an opportunity to win back what she'd lost... A final moment of truth.



"Eva... Eva wait!" Meredith burst through the double doors of the building and jumped in front of her quicker than Eva even knew how to react.

"I know you're really mad at me, but I just couldn't keep going on like this. I know I've told you I'm sorry a dozen times, but I'd have to say it a dozen times more to even touch the surface of how bad I feel. You're my best friend in the entire world and I need for you to at least... like... yell at me, because that'd at least a little less painful that this... this..." She couldn't find the word for it.




"Mere..." Eva's head hung loosely as her expression went from neutral to pained. "I was never really mad at you. I mean, I was, but... You were just... And Shamus was... Well, he is... and I mean... I..."

"Eva, are you okay?" Meredith bent down to look her friend in the eye... the closed eye, unfortunately. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I know the way Shamus is. The way he's always been. That's why we moved here to begin with... He got frisky with one of the nurses at the old hospital he worked at, so we moved to the middle of nowhere hoping he'd be able to keep his hands to himself. But he couldn't. It's just the way he is... You were vulnerable, he took advantage of it. That's all that was."



"Eva, you can't be not upset with me. He may've been trying to seduce me, but it's not like I gave a very tough fight. I mean, I don't have feelings for him at all, but I should've known better."



"I'm the one who told you to even the score, Meredith. I even saw you that day, but instead of making you stay with me and get it all out of your system, I made the stupid mistake of telling my husband, and he preyed on you like a hungry animal. I set myself up for that. I can't blame you without taking some responsibility for myself. Besides, now Shamus is gonna be stupidly doting for the next year or so... I should almost thank you."




"Eva... You do realize you're too nice sometimes, right?" Meredith said with a smile as Eva pulled her into a hug.

"Yeah," Eva responded, almost laughing. "But what good is it gonna do me to be angry? I knew the way my husband was when I married him, and I can't go blaming my closest friend for falling victim to that. It's just not right."



"What're you going to do, then?" Meredith asked, still a little shocked at how easily Eva seemed to be taking this.

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Eva said with a devillish smile. "I'm going to milk it for all it's worth. Doubt I'll have to change diapers for a month, he's already bought me half a dozen certificates to the spa, and given me a few massages himself. It'll never be perfect, but... Maybe guilt will inspire him to change for a while."



For the next half-hour, until Meredith realized that she really had to leave, they joked about the fortunes to come with Eva's new predicament, and how much power they now had over their husbands. In a way, it was like nothing had ever even happened, like things were just the way they'd always been.

Things between Eva and Meredith may never be quite the same again, but neither of them was willing to let it get in the way of their friendship.

On the outside, you'd never even notice...



... but on the inside, some hurts go deeper than the eyes can see.

Some dreams were just not meant to be fulfilled.